


You Said This Would Be Simple

by celeste9



Category: Suikoden, Suikoden I, Suikoden II
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 10:06:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3764065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Viktor settles in to life as a mercenary captain in his home country of Dunan, he learns that casual doesn’t mean uncomplicated and that sex is never simple. Or, the story of how Viktor falls in love with his best friend, much to his chagrin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for smallfandombang. Very special thanks to penderies, who generously volunteered to beta this random fic populated with characters she had never heard of, and of course to deinonychus_1, who made me amazing, beautiful art in spite of a serious lack of official images to work with. And also not having any idea who the characters were. *g* The art is embedded within the fic but you can find the full post [here](http://deinonychus-1.livejournal.com/171293.html) to tell her how great it is. Finally, thank you to d_1 and to Clea for bearing with me over the long and sometimes fraught process of writing this!

[ ](http://s362.photobucket.com/user/ceteste9/media/book%20cover_zpsloqdvvip.jpg.html)

  
[](http://s362.photobucket.com/user/ceteste9/media/header%201_zps9vs8dysu.jpg.html)

“You should’ve let me die in Gregminster,” Flik said, staring morosely at his bowl of stew.

“Don’t be such a pussy,” Viktor said, looking at Flik from across the table. “Anyway, the arrow wouldn’t’ve done you in.”

“Oh, right. It would’ve been you dragging me through the Badlands while I was dying from my wounds.”

“You’ve always gotta make everything sound so dramatic.”

Flik shrugged. “I’m just saying it like it is.”

Except that wasn’t entirely true. To be fair, Viktor had dragged Flik out of Gregminster Palace while he was dying from his wounds, but it was only to an inn so he wouldn’t actually die. There had been a period when Viktor had been frightened Flik really would die, but that wasn’t something Viktor had ever told Flik - or ever would.

Anyway the Badlands came later, and Flik definitely hadn’t been dying. He also could have not come. It wasn’t like Viktor had forced Flik to come along to Dunan. Viktor thought Flik just liked to complain.

“Just eat the damn stew,” Viktor said.

Flik stuck his spoon into it and stared dubiously at a chunk of meat. “Is this even meat?”

“Gengen says it’s mutton.”

“Gengen also says snails make good eating.”

Viktor shoveled a spoonful of stew into his own mouth. “There, see? I’m eating it-- it’s fine.”

Wrinkling his nose, Flik said, “That proves nothing. You’ve survived a lifetime of your own terrible cooking.”

“You survived my cooking long enough.”

“Proof only that someone out there enjoys watching me suffer.”

“It’ll put hair on your chest, pretty boy. Maybe stop people thinking you’re a girl.”

“Better than people mistaking me for a bear.”

“That was a bad joke, and anyway, that kid was a punk,” Viktor muttered, purposely ignoring Flik’s amused expression. “You’ll eat it if you’re hungry enough,” he added and proceeded to demolish his own serving. They’d been sweating all week cutting down the creeping weeds that threatened to overwhelm the building site and Viktor had always found there was nothing like a good sweat to improve almost any meal. Or maybe it was just that Viktor had never been too fussy.

Likely coming to the conclusion that he had better eat if he wanted to eat anything at all, Flik relented. His bowl emptied miraculously quickly for someone who had just been complaining so much, but then, maybe he was simply trying to inhale it to ignore the taste. 

After they finished, Viktor pushed open the flap of the tent that was serving as the mess hall and ventured back out into the sunshine, Flik following. They strode through the camp, down the pathway between the rows of tents, and watched the bustle of the men working. 

The fort didn’t look like much now, but it was coming along. Slow and steady, that was the way. Anabelle would be glad she had trusted Viktor with her baby, with setting up a mercenary force to help keep the peace in Dunan.

Viktor slung an arm around Flik’s shoulders. “This is gonna be great, you’ll see.”

“The more times you say that, the less confidence-inspiring it becomes.”

Viktor only tightened his grip. “As always, your optimism is what keeps me going.”

-

Viktor had seen a lot of places during his travels. Palaces and fortresses, villages and fancy cities. He would always have a fondness for Muse, though. It was a prosperous city but its inhabitants remained cheerful and kind. He liked the cobbled stone streets and the old granite architecture, and he loved the view from Jowston Hill.

And then there was Anabelle.

He still remembered how she had looked when they’d first met, back when her father had still been the mayor. All red hair and attitude, that was Anabelle. Viktor had been half-smitten from the start. She wasn’t the sort of girl the poets wrote odes to; she was wilder and fiercer than that, but she was the sort of girl you could spend your life chasing after. 

She had been too good for him then, and she was too good for him now. Mayor Anabelle of Muse. Viktor wasn’t sure what he’d done to be so lucky that Anabelle would even give him the time of day, but hell, he’d take it.

It wasn’t anything serious, what they had. Neither of them were looking to be tied down, but they had fun together, so having a casual little fling on the side worked out to both their benefits. Viktor knew there had been men before him, and there would be men after him, and there were probably men when he wasn’t around (not that he would ever risk his well-being to find out for certain). That was fine. He had never asked to be Anabelle’s one and only, and she had never asked to be his.

Viktor could have women, too, if he wanted. If he had the time. As it was, he was content with seeing Anabelle whenever the mood struck.

Usually when Viktor went to Muse, he used the excuse that he needed to speak to Anabelle about the mercenary fort. Doubtless Flik knew the real reason Viktor liked to go there was to see Anabelle, but he never came out and said anything about it. Flik was good about that.

This time, Viktor had said he wanted to see about increasing their funds so they could bring in a couple more builders. At some point Viktor might actually ask Anabelle about it, but not right away.

When Viktor arrived in City Hall that skinny brown-haired kid was sitting at the desk by Anabelle’s office again. _What’s his name. Jess._ He always looked at Viktor like he was something nasty on the bottom of his shoe.

“I’m here to see Anabelle,” Viktor said, striding up to him.

Yep, there was that look. “The mayor is busy.”

“Too busy for an old friend?”

“If that old friend doesn’t have an appointment, then yes, she is.”

Trying a different tactic, Viktor said, “She’ll want to be updated on the fort. You know, the one she asked me to build.”

“You’ll need an appointment for that, too.”

“Oh, come on, just tell her I’m here, will you?”

Jess raked his eyes scornfully over Viktor from head to toe. “I will ask her if she can see you, only out of respect for her… affection for you. Luckily for you she had a cancellation.”

“Right, lucky for me,” Viktor said, watching Jess stand up and walk over to Anabelle’s door. He followed, staying just behind Jess so he could see over his shoulder.

Jess knocked twice and then opened it. “Viktor’s here to see you, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Jess, send him in.”

Jess gave Viktor one last lingering, disapproving look before letting him into Anabelle’s office and then shutting the door behind him.

Viktor stopped halfway in the room, appreciating the way the sun through the window behind Anabelle’s desk glinted off her red hair. “Your secretary hates my guts.”

“He isn’t my secretary but he does hate your guts.”

“I just can’t understand it. I’m a loveable guy.”

“It might have something to do with how you treat him like a secretary, except with less respect.”

Viktor raised a hand to his heart. “I have the utmost respect for him.”

“Yeah? Is that why you always ignore what he says?”

“Only when I don’t like it.”

“Which seems to be everything he says.”

“Come on, he tries to keep me away from you, the shining light of my life.”

Anabelle rolled her eyes. “Is that flattery I hear?”

“Is it working?”

“What do you think?”

“Foiled again.” Viktor sighed. “You know you’re secretly thrilled to see me. I bring excitement into your dreary life.”

“You bring something, that’s for sure.”

“You’re a hard woman, Anabelle. You trying to get me to leave after the treacherous road I traveled, all for you? I could have died, you know.”

Before Anabelle could reply, a third party joined the conversation. “It certainly looked like you were trying to, with the inept way you swing me, you oaf.”

Anabelle’s eyes widened, just a little. “Is that the sword again, Viktor?”

“Afraid so,” Viktor said. To the Star Dragon Sword, he said, “Quiet, you. I knew I should have left you behind.”

“What? Leave _me_? Replace me with some inferior chunk of steel?”

“I thought I was an inept oaf. Wouldn’t you rather I wield a sword to match?”

The Star Dragon Sword spluttered with indignation. Viktor was glad the thing was strapped to his back and thus he couldn’t see it. A sword spluttering must be a disgusting sight.

While it was recovering, Viktor addressed Anabelle again. “You see what I put up with to get here?”

Anabelle’s mouth was twitching as she fought back a smile. “I suppose you’ll be wanting a reward.”

“I’d appreciate that, yeah. Should I come over and get it?” Viktor stepped closer to the desk.

“Oh, don’t be revolting,” the Star Dragon Sword butted in. 

“Actually,” Anabelle said, “I think I’ve changed my mind. Three’s a crowd, you know?”

“Fuck’s sake,” Viktor muttered, and undid the straps that kept the sword sheathed to his back. He went over to the corner of Anabelle’s office and put the sword there.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the Star Dragon Sword protested. “Do you think you can stick me in the corner like a misbehaving child? I am the Night Rune incarnate! How dare you!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Viktor strolled around Anabelle’s desk and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Come on. One kiss? For my trouble?”

“You’re terrible,” Anabelle said, but she pushed her chair back and let Viktor kiss her anyway. “And you really should make an appointment.”

“You stop letting me in, and maybe I will.” 

“I can still hear you, mooning over each other like children and sucking at each other’s faces,” the Star Dragon Sword said. “I’m not deaf.”

“I want a normal sword,” Viktor said plaintively.

-

When Viktor returned to the camp, he dropped the Star Dragon Sword off in his tent and found Flik directing some carpenters. “I need you,” he said, and pulled Flik by the arm.

“I was actually in the middle of something.”

“Yeah, well, this is more important.”

“I doubt it,” Flik said, but regardless, he stood and waited patiently.

“I’ve gotta get rid of the sword,” Viktor said.

Flik arched an eyebrow. “That’s why you dragged me away from the construction of the fort you asked for my help with? Because you’re irritated with your sword?”

“You don’t get it. I can’t take it anymore. It’s driving me nuts, Flik.”

“Maybe because you refer to him as an ‘it’.”

“It is an it! It’s a sword!”

“Not exactly.” Before Viktor could catch enough breath to launch into the argument he wanted, Flik went on to say, “Anyway, even if the Star Dragon Sword was just a sword, a little politeness couldn’t hurt. Humor the damn thing, Viktor. He did help you defeat Neclord.”

Viktor kept quiet. Begrudgingly he admitted that Flik had a point. “It’s still gotta go.”

“All right, all right,” Flik said. “Let me talk to him.”

“It’s in our tent.”

They walked through the camp together, to the tent they shared at night. They kept busy enough that they rarely had the excuse to spend much time in it awake. 

Viktor had left the sword lying on the pallet he slept on. It was muttering to itself about stupid hairy buffoons who were good for nothing and -

“Hey! That’s uncalled for.”

“It’s no less than you deserve, you sniveling-”

“Sir,” Flik said, and Viktor did a double-take.

Sir? Really?

But Flik now had the Star Dragon Sword’s undivided attention.

“I apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced these last few months,” Flik began.

“This last year,” the sword said.

“Year,” Flik agreed. “I hope you have never had cause to doubt our gratitude for your assistance.”

The Star Dragon Sword eyed Viktor with disdain. “He has never thanked me in so many words.”

“You’ll have to forgive Viktor. He had a rough upbringing. Manners weren’t a priority.”

Viktor bit his tongue.

“I had suspected as much,” the sword said.

“We might be going on a journey in the next few days. As there may be danger along the way, we had hoped you would join us.”

“Well,” the sword said. If a sword could preen, this was what it would look like. The smugness was positively radiating off it. “I can see why you would want my help. It would be nice to get out of this abominable place for a while.”

“Yes, it would,” Viktor said, seizing upon that thread of hope. “Change of scenery. It will do you good.”

“I wasn’t speaking to you.”

Flik valiantly kept a straight face long enough to thank the sword for its cooperation and ask that they be excused. Outside the tent, as they walked away, he said to Viktor, “Come right out and tell him you want to drop him off somewhere, why don’t you.”

“Oh, he’ll be happier away from me and you know it. Though he might have liked to be yours. Fancy a new sword?”

“I already have a sword,” Flik said, his fingers reflexively twitching towards where his own sword, Odessa, was sheathed. He left Viktor standing there, feeling like an idiot.

-

A week later, after leaving Gengen in charge of overseeing construction while they were gone, Viktor and Flik set off with the Star Dragon Sword and Odessa in tow, respectively. They were headed west, past Radat and to a cave near South Window. The Star Dragon Sword liked caves, right? It had been in a cave before. In a cave it could moan to its heart’s content. Perfect solution.

Or so Viktor was hoping.

He had missed this, to be honest. The road, traveling out in the fresh air, feeling like the world was open to him. Viktor had passed a lot of years just like this, but once the fort was completed it wouldn’t be like this again. Viktor knew he had the heart of a roamer but he was poised to give all of it up for a promise he had made to Anabelle. 

He hoped he could do it.

On the first evening of their travels they caught two wild hares, which they skinned and roasted on spits over a fire. The meat was too charred on the outside and too rare in the middle but Viktor had eaten worse.

Flik volunteered to take the first watch but Viktor lay awake anyway, on his back and gazing up at the stars. He could see the shadowy shape of Flik’s back out of the corner of his eye. “Just like old times, huh?”

“You say that like we didn’t trek across the Badlands together a measly three months ago.”

“Seems like longer. A lot’s changed.”

“Not really. You and me on the road. I still barely tolerate you. You still can’t cook.”

“Or shut your blasted mouth,” the Star Dragon Sword chimed in.

Viktor sighed. Flik was right - some things were all too familiar.

-

The cave entrance seemed smaller than Viktor remembered. He stood in front of the dark hole in the side of the mountain and closed his eyes, thinking back. How dangerous it had all seemed, the looming darkness, the gaping hole and the threat of what might lay beyond. As a kid he and the other children had dared each other to come here, seeing who was brave enough to run in, who could make it the farthest, who could stay inside the longest.

It seemed silly now. Even then, Daisy had laughed at him, she had -

Flik coughed, and Viktor startled. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Let’s go inside.”

“I hope it proves to be less dull than this journey so far,” the Star Dragon Sword. “You have wasted my time, Viktor. As usual.”

Viktor ignored it and lit a torch, heading inside. 

“How did you know this was here?” Flik asked.

“Used to play here,” Viktor said, and left it at that. Some stories weren’t made for telling.

Creatures lurked in the gloomy depths of the cave, more than Viktor recalled from his youth. He slashed at a weird lion thing with the head of a bird, Flik backing him up, and thought that if his friends had encountered anything like this during their foolish games, they might not have made it back for dinner. It was a sobering thought.

“I see why you had need of me,” the sword admitted over the corpse of the monster. “You did well to ask for my assistance.”

Flik eyed Viktor meaningfully but Viktor declined to take notice. Flik wanted Viktor to tell the Star Dragon Sword what he was planning ahead of time. Viktor disagreed. It was a sword. It didn’t need to know. This was the best thing for all of them. 

It occurred to him that if it really was the right thing to do, he probably wouldn’t be avoiding mentioning it to the sword.

As they went farther into the cave, they began to feel a slight breeze. It was that breeze that had given the cave its name: the Cave of the Wind. It was an odd thing. Wind inside a cave. It shouldn’t have been possible, but then, what did Viktor know?

Viktor had never been this far inside. He could tell that they were angling upwards, higher and higher into the mountain. 

“Do you mean to find something in here?” the Star Dragon Sword asked.

“Er,” Viktor said. He really hadn’t thought this through.

“Viktor thinks there may be treasure to be found,” Flik said, with another loaded look at Viktor.

But Viktor only said, “Right,” and cursed himself for a coward. Couldn’t even tell a damned sword that he was planning on leaving it behind.

Eventually they reached what almost looked like small room in the back of cave, with beams of light cutting through the darkness. The wind was stronger than ever and seemed to be coming from the same direction as the light.

“What’s that?” Flik said, walking on.

They made their way to a ledge, an opening in the cave. Standing on the edge, Viktor found himself looking down the side of the mountain. He whistled, kicking a pebble off the edge and watching it fall. “Some view.”

“I fail to see any treasure.” The sword sounded disappointed.

“Yeah, too bad.”

Flik elbowed Viktor in the side.

“Hey!” But Viktor knew it was time to come clean. He unbuckled the sword so he could look at its ugly face. “So… You know how you used to be in a cave? And then I took you out?”

The sword narrowed its eyes dangerously. “You mean to leave me here.”

“Nice, huh?”

The sword’s voice dripped with disdain. “It is a cave.”

“You like caves.”

“I do not! A cave is no fit place for the Night Rune incarnate! You wish me to rot in here!”

“You hate me!” Viktor tried, realizing he was shouting at a sword and thus making him consider how much he hated his life in general. “You don’t want to be stuck with me.”

“You forget who rules whom,” the sword said, fury in the measured set of its words. “I stay with you so that I may find someone more worthy of being my servant.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure that guy will come along and find you here, and this way you won’t have to put up with me any longer.”

“You will not abandon me here!”

“That’s a harsh word, don’t you think? It’s more like… I’m letting you move on to the next stage of your life. Without me.” Viktor could feel how much Flik was enjoying this, he really could.

“Viktor! If you leave me here I promise you will regret it!”

“Okay, sure, great. It was nice knowing you, thanks for the help!” Viktor practically ran back out into the twisting corridors of the cave, Flik following.

“Nicely done,” Flik said, clearly meaning the opposite.

“I didn’t see you helping, you prick.”

“And ruin the show? Why would I have done that?”

“You’re a terrible friend.”

“Hmm. Guess I won’t mention that I brought a flask of wine along with me to celebrate your newfound freedom.”

“Now I remember why I keep you around,” Viktor said, grinning.

-

In the wake of ridding himself of the Star Dragon Sword, Viktor learned there was truly something to be said for quiet. He had forgotten the simple pleasure of being able to sit in his tent without having his own sword back-talk him. Now he had a sword that cut things, end of story.

Life was good.

To celebrate, Viktor was going to see Anabelle again. True, it hadn’t been long since last time but it wasn’t like they had a rule about how often they could see each other. Anyway, she might be glad to know Viktor would actually be alone this time.

That was why it was so unexpected when Flik walked in to their tent, dressed for traveling, and said, “Want some company?”

Viktor paused in the action of buckling his sword belt and looked at Flik. “Company?”

“To go to Muse. I assume that’s where you’re going, though you neglected to mention it to me, which was rather unprofessional of you.”

“Uh. Yes? I mean, I am going to Muse.”

“To update Anabelle on our progress in person, of course.”

“Of course,” Viktor said, though he knew he was failing to not look shifty and Flik obviously knew exactly why Viktor was going to Muse.

Flik looked amused. “I thought so. I ask again-- want some company?”

“You think it’s a good idea for both of us to leave during this, er, critical stage of construction?”

“I think they can manage for a couple of days. I’ve already spoken to Gengen.”

“You’re only asking to be polite, aren’t you?”

Flik clapped Viktor on the shoulder. “Good, I’m glad that’s settled. Come on, then, better get started.”

-

If nothing else, Flik did make the trip go by faster. It was a warm, sunny day and Viktor liked being able to hear the sound of Flik’s light, steady footsteps besides his. He even kind of liked the way Flik rolled his eyes at him, to be honest. There was something to be said for the comfortable and the familiar.

Once in Muse, Viktor took the lead, walking the path to City Hall easily and without thought. He’d done it so many times he could find his way in his sleep.

Jess, of course, was at his usual post inside City Hall. Addressing him, Viktor said, “We meet again.”

Jess ignored him completely in favor of addressing Flik. “Good afternoon, Mister Flik. You’re early, but I don’t think the mayor will mind.”

“Thank you, Jess,” Flik said, and waited as Jess stood up to walk over to Anabelle’s door.

Viktor gaped at him. “You made an appointment? But you weren’t even supposed to come!”

“I sent a message ahead. It’s only polite, Viktor. Anabelle is a busy woman. Perhaps you should have more respect for her time.” Flik left Viktor standing dumbly as he went to join Jess, who then waved him into the office.

“I have respect for her time,” Viktor muttered, ignoring the venomous look Jess gave him as he returned to his desk. Viktor hurried to enter Anabelle’s office.

Anabelle was smiling, standing up from her seat to embrace Flik. “Flik, it’s good to see you again. I hope you’re managing to keep this one in line.”

“I’m not sure there’s a person alive who can do that.”

“Standing right here,” Viktor said, crossing his arms. Then he waited for his hug.

It didn’t come.

“Oh, I get it, you just hug the pretty ones, is that it? What does that make me?”

“Not pretty?” Flik suggested, laughter in his blue eyes.

Viktor sat down in the chair in front of Anabelle’s desk, pretending to be in a huff. “I am besieged by cruelty on all sides.”

“Yes, you lead a tough life,” Anabelle said, her hand sliding over Viktor’s shoulder as she moved to sit back down again.

“At least you acknowledge that.”

“Yes, poor put-upon Viktor,” Flik said, taking the second chair. “I certainly never know how that feels. It isn’t like all the managerial tasks of setting up the fort are delegated to me or anything.”

“Aw, you’re better at that stuff than me,” Viktor said, reaching over to pat Flik’s knee. “I guess this means the smalltalk’s over? We’re gonna talk business for real?”

“For real,” Anabelle said, amusement fading away into seriousness. She was Mayor Anabelle now, and Viktor and Flik were her mercenary captains.

As far as meetings went, Viktor decided this was the sort he could deal with. At least the company was good. 


	2. Chapter 2

  
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The days mostly bled together during the construction of the fort. Most days there was some fresh trouble to deal with but it always got dealt with sooner or later, and progress went on. It was simple but satisfying hard work and Viktor generally returned to his tent at night feeling tired but content. 

He was stretched out on his pallet, arms behind his head, when Flik stumbled into the tent. He literally stumbled, tripping over his own feet and falling onto Viktor.

“Ow,” Viktor said, but Flik was laughing even as his elbows jabbed into Viktor’s middle as he pushed himself up.

“Oops,” he said.

“You’re drunk,” Viktor said, knowing he was stating the obvious, but damn. Viktor hadn’t seen Flik this drunk since he had attempted to drink his sorrows away after Odessa’s death.

He had been a much less happy drunk back then.

“I was thinking,” Flik said.

“Normally alcohol isn’t the best aid when you’re doing that.”

Flik laughed again. It was this sort of giggle that really didn’t sound right coming out of Flik’s mouth. He was still mostly on top of Viktor, his forearms pressed into the blankets on either side of Viktor’s body. His breath stank like booze. “You’re warm.”

“I’m always warm.”

“’s nice.” Flik nuzzled against Viktor’s collarbone.

“Whoa, hey there, hot stuff. Watch where you’re putting yourself.”

“This is what I was thinking about,” Flik said, raising his face again so he could look right at Viktor. 

“Uh,” Viktor said. _What?_

“I was thinking we should have sex.”

“Okay, whoa.” Viktor pushed Flik away from him, sliding out from underneath him as best he could. “Where did that come from?”

“I told you,” Flik said, the liquor exaggerating his petulant tone. “I was thinking. A lot. And I think we should have sex.”

“You may have been thinking that but let me tell you, you are definitely not thinking straight.”

“I am,” Flik insisted. “Listen. I’m tired of waking up by myself.”

“Well, technically, you don’t wake up by yourself. We share a tent.”

Flik smacked him. It hurt.

Viktor decided to try going about this logically. Flik liked logic. “If we have sex in here, half the camp will hear and the rest of ’em will know by morning.” They were a gossipy bunch.

“I can be quiet.” Flik was slithering closer again and if Viktor moved any farther away he was going to bust through the canvas of the tent. 

“That’s not… That’s not really the point. You don’t really want to do this. You-- you hardly even like me, remember?” _And you love her. You still love her, God, I know you do._

“I like you okay. Besides, you should listen to what I say. I’m the smart one, remember?”

“Yeah, so if even I think this is a bad idea, it must be a _really_ bad idea.”

Flik made this little lunge forward and then his mouth was on Viktor’s. Sort of. 

Viktor pushed him back, hands on Flik’s chest. Flik was strong but he was never going to be a match for Viktor, and certainly not when he was drunk. 

“Sober up, Flik,” Viktor said. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Don’t tell me what I don’t want!”

“Fine, then, _I_ don’t want this. You gonna force me?”

Flik’s eyes flashed and then he got to his feet, still mostly gracelessly, but with a surprising amount of dignity even so. It was Flik. He had a way of always looking like he was doing exactly what he wanted to be doing, even if he wasn’t.

“Fuck you, Viktor,” he said, and the tent door flapped closed behind him.

“Yeah, I guess that was the point,” Viktor said, and let himself slump down.

When Viktor’s mind finally settled enough so he could fall asleep, Flik’s pallet was empty.

-

It was still empty when Viktor awoke the next morning.

When Viktor found Flik having breakfast, he looked like shit, unsurprisingly. Viktor left him to his bad coffee (the coffee was always bad) but spent most of his time thinking about Flik, anyway.

It was just… what the hell? Really, what? Since when had Flik ever shown any interest in Viktor? It was weird. It didn’t make sense. Sure, Flik was pretty fantastic looking, and it wasn’t like Viktor was opposed to the idea of fucking him, but it had never been an option worth considering. It had never been an option period. Flik was off limits. Flik was Viktor’s friend.

Flik was Odessa’s. Flik had been Odessa’s from the moment Viktor had met him, he had still been Odessa’s when she died, and he would be Odessa’s for as long as he remained on this earth.

Viktor didn’t know what to do with a Flik who didn’t seem to realize that anymore.

That was why, that evening, when Viktor sat down on a log at the outskirts of camp with an ale, and Flik materialized beside him, Viktor seriously considered running. Only for a second. But he did think about it.

“Sorry about… before,” Flik said, eyes lowered.

“Yeah.”

“I shouldn’t have had so much to drink.”

“You never could hold your booze. But then, you must have needed it to work up the nerve to go after me,” Viktor teased. It was best to make a joke out of it. Right? Right.

“To cloud my senses, you mean.”

“Oh, whatever, you were so into me.”

“Guess I thought you were my only option,” Flik said, but there was something truthful about the way he said it that made Viktor suspect he wasn’t joking any longer.

Well, gee, what a nice thing to say. He opened his mouth to speak but wound up with Flik’s lips pressed to his and the soft touch of tongue instead.

Flik had better aim when he was sober, and he tasted a lot better than he did after having drunk his own weight in liquor. Once Viktor got over the initial shock of it, he found that he could go for this kissing thing, definitely. 

After a few moments, Flik straightened up again, leaving his hand where it was, resting on Viktor’s thigh. “I’m thinking straight now,” he said, maintaining eye contact.

Viktor glanced forlornly at his spilled bottle of ale - a casualty of Flik’s ambush. “Are you? Then maybe you can explain what you’re doing because I’m kind of confused.”

“It’s simple, actually,” Flik said, and he was doing this distracting thing with his hand, rubbing circles on Viktor’s thigh. “I think we should have sex.”

“You said that last night, and it still doesn’t make sense.”

“I think we should have casual sex. As friends.”

“Yeah,” Viktor said, and he wasn’t this slow, he truly wasn’t. There was just something about the way Flik was putting words together that wasn’t working for him. It could have been the distracting rubbing thing, too.

“Think of me as one of your barmaids.”

One of his… What? His barmaids? Okay, fair enough, Viktor had been known to bed a barmaid or two, but it wasn’t like he had a girl in every town or anything. That was far too complicated. Besides, he didn’t have the sort of face that made women immediately want to drop their panties (to be fair, though, some did, and he could be charming). Viktor did like women, it was true, and there had been more than a few. Men, too, though not as many. That was in the past now. Now he had gone and made himself into something halfway respectable and he didn’t have the time or the energy to devote to chasing skirts. 

Viktor wondered if he should take it as a compliment that apparently Flik thought he was quite the ladies’ man, when in truth there was only Anabelle, and that wasn’t anything like Flik was saying.

“They usually have bigger tits than you,” was what he said.

“I’ve got a bigger cock, though.”

Without actually doing it on purpose, the direction of Viktor’s gaze fell to Flik’s crotch. Flik had always been fond of breeches that were a little too tight. The overall impression was favorable.

Flik’s expression was reminding Viktor of the smug, cocky ass he had been in the early days of the war. Viktor wished that was more off-putting than it actually was.

“It’ll be like... mutual stress relief. No feelings, no complications, just the two of us helping each other out. We’ll be happier, so the men will be happier. A win all around.”

“Is that how you convinced yourself?”

“It makes sense.”

Viktor suddenly remembered something Flik had said last night about not wanting to wake up alone. Was Flik lonely? The idea was depressing. He missed his dead girlfriend so he wanted to have meaningless sex with Viktor, because he was there, and apparently Flik was sure he wouldn’t say no. 

The whole thing was depressing.

“I’m still not sure this is such a good idea,” Viktor said.

Flik was still sitting way too close to Viktor and his hand was veering into extremely private territory. “Let me try to convince you, then.”

Some time later, Viktor said, “Okay. You’ve convinced me.”

And that was that. 

They fucked, sometimes. Usually after Flik had been drinking, the booze making him... easier, somehow. Not so tense, not so uptight. He would have a few beers and loosen, in a way. It made him smile easier, laugh more. When he started to get handsy, that would be when Viktor knew he was going to get lucky. Flik’s long fingers against Viktor’s wrist, their knees bumping underneath the table, Flik leaning close until Viktor could smell him, leather and oil and sweat. Flik’s blue eyes seemed to go a shade darker and his voice pitched lower, and Viktor knew that most of the girls and a good chunk of the guys in the Liberation Army would have given their right hands to be in Viktor’s spot. 

Hell, he was pretty sure a sizeable portion of their (still small, admittedly) band of mercenaries were just waiting for Viktor to meet with some unfortunate accident so they could try their luck. Of course, Flik would probably have their balls if they so much as looked at him funny.

If Viktor had had any illusions about what this was going to be, Flik disabused him of them quickly. There wasn’t anything romantic about what they did in the darkness, behind closed doors. It was about sex, plain and simple. It was rough and hard and fast but it was good too.

And Flik never, ever let Viktor fuck him.

That was fine, Viktor supposed. He wasn’t one to let a silly thing like that emasculate him. _You’d have to be pretty insecure to let that bother you_ , Viktor thought. This was about Flik getting what he needed, and what he needed didn’t involve Viktor’s dick, apparently. Viktor figured he wasn’t making out too shabbily, all things considered.

But it _was_ about Flik. Flik had started it, and Flik called the shots. Viktor knew that the second Flik decided he wasn’t getting what he wanted out of this, it would be over. 

So Viktor was just... going with it. He liked sex. And this way he didn’t have to trek all the way to Muse to get it. 

He was going to consider that a win.

-

The communal tent was crowded and noisy, filled with the men sharing drinks and laughter after a long day’s work. Normally this was Viktor’s favorite part, relaxing with the guys and having a few beers. Tonight, though, he simply wasn’t in the mood.

He pushed through the slit opening and let the flaps fall closed behind him. Out here it was quieter and darker, the only light coming from the stars above. Viktor walked around the outside of the fort, observing the sturdy walls and thinking about how far they had come. Nearly done, now.

The prospect was both exhilarating and utterly terrifying.

Viktor walked in through what would be the main door, once it actually had a door fitted in, and then sat right down on the floor in the hall, taking care to avoid the construction material left scattered about. He could hardly see his own hand in front of his face but he liked it in here. He felt like that was a good sign, considering this was going to be his home for what hopefully would be many years ahead.

“You know this is roped off at night for a reason,” a voice said behind him.

“Hey, it’s my baby, so I figure I can do what I want.”

Flik’s light footsteps stopped beside Viktor’s seated form. “Until the roof caves in on you.”

“If the roof caves in now we’ve got a bigger problem than what happens to me.”

“True.” Flik sat lightly down next to Viktor, folding his long legs beneath him. “Obviously the loss of you would be a small setback, easily overcome. I can do everything you were going to do, only better.”

Viktor knocked his fist against Flik’s shoulder. “You’re an ass.”

“Yeah, but I’m the ass you wanted running this thing with you.”

“Yeah,” Viktor said. “There is that.”

They sat there together in the dimness, arms and thighs just barely touching. The silence felt comfortable and easy, and Flik’s presence simply felt _right_. They were in this together.

“You think we can do this, Flik? I mean, really do this?”

“I certainly hope so, as we’re screwed otherwise.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” Flik said, and Viktor could feel the weight of his gaze. “This far in, we’d better pray to God we know what we’re doing.”

“I’m not sure I do,” Viktor admitted. It was hard to say but he felt better for it. “I don’t think I actually knew what I was signing up for, doing this thing. I just… I wanted to help Anabelle, you know? And it seemed fun. Be a mercenary captain. But…”

“But there’s quite a lot of work involved in being a mercenary captain.”

“Yeah.”

“You’ll be fine,” Flik said, and he wasn’t looking at Viktor anymore. Maybe it was easier to say that way. Flik wasn’t so good with being open. “Tir trusted you, he relied on you. We all did. You’re a good leader, Viktor. People like you, and they want to do what you tell them. You make sound decisions. You’re a natural at this, more than I ever was.”

Viktor breathed out, not looking anywhere near Flik, either. That was possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, and it was certainly the nicest thing Flik had ever said to him. To diffuse the atmosphere, he said, “And I’ve got you for the paperwork.”

Flik’s laugh was surprised but genuine. He squeezed Viktor’s knee. “And you’ve got me for the paperwork.” 

-

The air was filled with the ring of metal on metal as Viktor and Flik traded blows, sparring beneath the afternoon sun. The fort construction took priority but that didn’t mean they were willing to let their skills slide. In any event, Viktor loved fighting, practice or not. Nothing could make him feel so alive, and he knew Flik felt the same.

Viktor caught Flik’s forearm with the edge of his blade. It would have bled if they hadn’t been using dull training swords, but as it was, Flik hardly seemed to notice. He sprang neatly back and then forward again, swords meeting with a kiss and then parting.

Viktor managed to get a leg in between Flik’s ankles and knock him onto his back. Flik landed with a sharp _whoosh_ of breath and Viktor squatted next to him, pointing the tip of his sword at Flik’s throat. “I win.”

Knocking the sword away with an irritated look, Flik said, “You cheated.”

“I used all the skills available to me.”

“By cheating.”

“It’s not cheating if it keeps you alive.” 

Flik’s blue eyes were bright and fierce and a blush had risen across his high cheekbones. Viktor really wanted to kiss him, right on his pouting mouth, but their little sparring match had attracted an audience and he figured Flik wouldn’t thank him for embarrassing him further.

Instead, Viktor offered Flik a hand to help him up but Flik refused it, scrambling up to his feet on his own. The onlookers parted to let Flik walk through and Viktor followed after him.

“Don’t be sore,” Viktor said.

“I’m not sore.”

“Yeah?”

Flik stopped walking, pausing so he could view Viktor more fully. “I’ll have you on your ass next time.”

“You’re awfully confident.”

“I fight better than you,” Flik said with a shrug before he started moving again.

“In your mind, maybe.” The truth was they were pretty evenly matched, even if neither of them was likely to admit that out loud. Flik might have had the edge in speed and pure skill, but Viktor was stronger and craftier. It was what made their matches so much fun - they complemented each other, and the outcome was always up in the air.

“Lucky we were using practice swords,” Viktor said, brushing his fingers down Flik’s arm. “Wouldn’t want to mar your baby-smooth skin.”

“You’ve seen my scars,” Flik said, expression a cross between a scowl and something else.

“Yeah,” Viktor said. “I have.”

-

The day the fort was completed was cool and cloudy, rain threatening to pour down on them at any moment. It did nothing to mar the happiness of the occasion, however. Standing in front of the fort and gazing up at the wooden walls, Viktor hadn’t felt this proud since he had taken down Neclord. Not even on the day they had won the war. 

“It’ll do, I suppose,” Flik said.

Viktor shoved him in the arm. “Shut your mouth, it’s perfect.”

“It’s something, all right.” Despite his words, the corners of Flik’s mouth were curving upwards in the barest hint of a smile, and Viktor knew he was proud, too, in his way. 

“It is missing something, though,” Viktor said, considering. He snapped his fingers. “A flag! It needs a flag. We need a banner.”

“With an insignia, you mean?” Flik sounded dubious. “We barely even have enough men to staff the place yet.”

“And a flag will help. Give us an identity.”

“I think an increased stipend from Muse would do a lot more than an identity.”

“A lion,” Viktor said, ignoring Flik’s practical pessimism. “A lion will be just right.”

He would make the flag himself.

-

[](http://s362.photobucket.com/user/ceteste9/media/fort%20header_zpszlrgnq3d.jpg.html)

Anabelle came down the following week, a small group of aides in tow. Viktor hated how nervous he was. He had done this for Anabelle, but the fort was his... baby. It was his baby. This had started as nothing more than a promise to Anabelle but it had grown into something that was _his._ He was proud of what they had accomplished and he was worried that Anabelle would disapprove, that she would criticize, that she wouldn’t love it like Viktor did because how could she? She hadn’t labored over it, poured in her energy and her sweat and even her affection.

She was wearing a bandana to keep her long, thick hair out of her face and she was smiling. “Words would never have done it justice.”

Viktor hardly dared to hope. “You like it?”

“Yeah, Viktor. Yeah, I do. This will serve.”

“For now,” Flik piped in. “We don’t have nearly the manpower we would need to stand up to any sizeable force, and the men we do have are poorly trained and poorly equipped.”

“I can assist with getting you the weapons and equipment you need,” Anabelle promised, “but the training is up to you. Think you can handle it?”

“Hey, we’ve got Blue Lightning Flik here, straight out of the Warrior’s Village,” Viktor said, grinning at Flik’s expression. “We’ve got this.”

Anabelle stood between the two of them, arms around their shoulders. “Well, boys, you did well. Now you just need to hold it.” 

“We’ll hold it,” Viktor said. 

This place was theirs. It was _his_. He felt a kind of possessiveness when he thought about it, possessiveness and that same sense of pride from before. This was _home,_ and it had been a long, long while since Viktor had thought of any place as home.

One thing was certain. Should anyone come looking for trouble, he wouldn’t give this up without a fight - and there wasn’t much Viktor liked better than a good fight.

-

Halfway through the second of two bottles of good Kanakan wine that Anabelle had brought with to celebrate their success, Viktor looked across the table at Flik and Anabelle and was struck by a thought.

_ I’ve seen you both naked.  _

He snorted a laugh, hiding it in his hand.

“Care to share with the rest of us?” Flik asked.

“Nah,” Viktor said, still grinning to himself. “Pretty sure you have to be me to see the humor in it.”

“So, the same as all your jokes, then.”

“Whatever, you love my jokes.”

“He’s fond of self-delusion,” Flik said to Anabelle, who laughed.

“Have I mentioned how much I hate it when you two get in the same room?” Viktor said, meaning the opposite. There wasn’t anyone left in the world that he cared about more than Flik and Anabelle. He wished they could kick back like this more often.

The wine vanished perhaps a bit faster than it should have, but their new bartender-cum-cook, Leona, was happy to fill their glasses with the cheap but decent ale they kept on hand. Flik and Anabelle weren’t naturally the… well, the most light-hearted of people, so to speak, but it was a happy occasion and the alcohol went a long way towards lowering inhibitions. They were smiling at each other, and at Viktor, and between the three of them they had enough stories to pass far more than one evening. 

Viktor realized he did more than simply care about them. He kind of loved them, a little bit.

They left together, drunk and laughing and leaning on each other. After stumbling up the stairs, Flik bid them good night and shut himself into his bedroom, alone. He had given Viktor an odd, heavy look that Viktor had had far too much alcohol to interpret. He had a hard enough time interpreting Flik when he was sober.

That left Viktor and Anabelle. “Shall I escort you to your chambers, milady?” Viktor said with exaggerated courtesy, giving her a sloppy bow.

Anabelle dragged him back up and pressed her hand to his chest. “You could escort me to yours instead.”

Viktor blinked at her. “People will talk.”

“Do I strike you as the kind of woman who cares what people talk about?”

She truly didn’t. 

Viktor could bed her. He could. It would be fun, and it would be easy. He didn’t even have to go to Muse.

But he didn’t want to. He told himself he was only drunk and tired, that was it, but he knew he was lying to himself even then.

“You’ll have to excuse me, sweetheart,” he said, “but I don’t think the wine’s done me any favors. I’m gonna be good for nothing but sleeping.”

“How disappointing,” Anabelle said, trailing her finger down Viktor’s chest. 

“Want a cuddle instead?” Viktor waggled his eyebrows.

Anabelle laughed. “That’s your fantasy, not mine. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Sleep well.” Viktor watched her leave, her steps steady. Standing in front of his door, he cast one look over to Flik’s bedroom on the other side of the meeting room.

He hesitated, and then went inside to his own empty bed.


	3. Chapter 3

[](http://s362.photobucket.com/user/ceteste9/media/header%203_zpsyypojvvm.jpg.html)

It was early. 

Frankly Viktor didn’t even know why he was awake. Any sane person would still be in bed.

Which explained why Flik was running drills with the poor men in his training group. Flik was insane. Obviously.

There was no denying he was getting results, though. Flik’s harsh brand of regimen and discipline was turning their ragtag band of recruits into a force that would make Anabelle proud. 

As Viktor watched, he couldn’t help but make note of something else. Flik was definitely more relaxed with the men than he had been before the commencement of their physical relationship. Maybe it actually was working.

And here Viktor had thought the whole thing was crazy.

Well, it still was crazy. But perhaps not without merit. Though, to be fair, it might just have been that they were all getting used to each other now.

After Flik let the men troop out for breakfast, he remained behind to get his own morning training routine in. Viktor stayed to watch that, too.

He liked to watch the way Flik moved, smoothly and gracefully. Flik’s motions were like liquid, like water, like the flow of a stream. Odessa was merely an extension of his arm, like the sword weighed nothing at all.

Sometimes Viktor wondered if Flik thought of Odessa whenever the sword was in his hand. Did he think of her laugh and her bright smile, the fall of her red hair around her shoulders? Did he think of the steel in her voice and her fierce determination, her courage, her idealism?

Odessa had been Viktor’s friend, too, and sometimes he missed her like an ache in his heart. For Flik it must be worse, it must feel like -

But better not to think about that.

“I’m surprised you even realize the day can start so early,” Flik said, and somehow he was standing directly in front of Viktor. How had that happened?

“It shouldn’t. This is cruelty, you know. The men might revolt.”

“It’s good to get the blood pumping to start the day. You could have joined in, you know, rather than sitting over here on your ass. Would have done you good.”

“Nah, I was fine here. I like to watch,” Viktor said, injecting a bit of a leer into his voice.

Flik rolled his eyes, predictably. “I’m well aware.”

“Oh, baby, I love it when you talk dirty.”

Now Flik was scowling, but it was that kind of scowl that meant he was mostly pretending to be irritated so he wouldn’t laugh. Wouldn’t do to admit he found Viktor amusing, after all. It would completely ruin his image as the stern hard-ass in this partnership.

“I’m going to have breakfast,” Flik said.

“I’ll join you.” Viktor slung his arm around Flik’s back as they walked, rubbing Flik’s arm gently with his thumb, and Flik let him.

-

The days started to grow colder, and Flik stopped kicking Viktor out of his bed straight after they were finished. 

The first time was a definite surprise. Flik was a love ’em and leave ’em kind of guy - or at least he was with Viktor. It was a constant reminder that to Flik, Viktor was just a warm body, a means to an end. Anabelle was like that, too, but at least Viktor had always felt like she was with him in the moment. She was sleeping with _him,_ she was with him because she wanted to be. With Flik, Viktor felt like nothing more than a faceless stand-in, there because there wasn’t anyone else.

Because Flik couldn’t have who he wanted.

So the cuddling came as a surprise.

They were in Flik’s bed. They were often in Flik’s bed, which Viktor figured was both another means of exerting control and also a simple reminder of the fact that Flik thought Viktor was a bit of a pig. Flik liked his bedroom better because it was always perfectly tidy.

Viktor started to get up, scanning the room for his shirt, but then felt Flik clinging to him. 

“Don’t move, you’re warm.”

Stunned, Viktor froze where he was. He looked at the way Flik’s arm was stretched out across Viktor’s chest, holding him in place. He looked at the top of Flik’s head, smushed between Viktor and the pillow. “Oh, I see how it is. First you use me for my body, and then you use me for my body heat.”

“Warmer than a fire, and this way I don’t have to get out of bed to make one.”

“It’s still only autumn, just wait a couple months when it’s actually cold.”

“How much colder are we talking?” Flik’s voice was muffled and plaintive.

“A lot,” Viktor said, unable to keep the smile off his face. “You’ll hate it, with that thin southern blood of yours.”

“Maybe I just don’t have any fat on me, unlike some.”

“Fat!” Viktor protested, offended. “I’ll have you know there isn’t an ounce of spare fat on me. All muscle.”

Flik poked Viktor in the stomach. “So you say.”

“What, you got any complaints?”

“Want me to make a list?”

“You aren’t so perfect yourself, you know. I could make a list of my own.” 

“Yeah? So what’s on it? First thing. Tell me, I’m curious.”

Viktor looked at Flik’s ruffled light brown hair poking out from the sheets. _You’re moody,_ he could say. _You have a bad temper and you hold grudges. You’re kind of selfish and all you think about is what’s in this for you. You seem to think I don’t have any feelings so there’s no point respecting them._

_ You don’t really want me. _

Instead of saying any of that, Viktor said, “You have fucking cold feet and you’d better get them away from me.”

Of course, Flik took that as an invitation to push his feet even closer, tucking them in between Viktor’s calves.

Viktor grumbled but deep down, he didn’t hate it.

-

Though Viktor had never made a conscious decision to do so, he woke up one morning with the realization that he had seen Anabelle only once since he started sleeping with Flik, when she came to inspect the fort. When Viktor had actually turned her down. Their communications since then had been entirely professional. 

Well, mostly. Viktor had been told he was incapable of being purely professional.

He missed her, but not in the way he thought he would. He missed laughing with her and he missed their talks, but he didn’t miss _being_ with her. He thought he should feel bad about that. 

The thing was, Viktor had always known that Anabelle would never be his. It would never have worked, and they had both known that. His relationship with Anabelle was actually just the sort of thing Flik wanted with him - fun, no strings. They had just never said it in so many words.

Maybe that was why it had worked. It hadn’t taken any effort and they had always been on the same page.

And now it was time to end it.

When Viktor told Flik he was going to Muse, Flik’s eyes widened nearly imperceptibly. “I see. I’ll watch things while you’re away.”

Viktor gazed at him and wondered if he should tease, or if that would only make Flik mad. It was hard to tell with him. “I won’t be long.”

“It isn’t like this is the first such trip you’ve taken.”

_ Oh, what the hell _ . “Jealous?”

“Of what? Aren’t your excursions to Muse purely for business?” Flik said in faux innocence.

“Right,” Viktor said, finding himself at a loss. _Is Flik mad or not? Do I want Flik to be mad?_

That was the problem, really. Unlike with Anabelle, Viktor didn’t think he and Flik had ever been on the same page.

-

Anabelle smiled when she saw him, no appointment and all. “Viktor, it’s been a while.”

“I thought your secretary might have been missing me.”

“He was positively pining.”

“And you?”

Anabelle shrugged him off. “I’ve got plenty to keep me occupied without your little visits. You, on the other hand... Been keeping busy?”

“You might be surprised, but it’s a lot of work running an army of mercenaries and keeping Muse’s eastern border safe.”

“Is it really?”

“You might have said so before you talked me into making you wild promises.”

“I might have,” Anabelle said with a sly smile. “You’ve got Flik, anyway. I know you well enough to know that he’ll be doing all the things you think are boring.”

Viktor grinned. “What do you think I asked him to be co-captain for?” 

“I’d ask if he knew that going in, but he did know you, after all.” Anabelle leaned back in her chair. “Now, then, tell me the real reason you haven’t been to see me. Have you got another woman?”

“What? No!”

But Anabelle only kept looking at him, her eyes widening like Viktor’s secrets were written all over his face for her to see. “Have you got a _man_?”

Viktor could feel his cheeks redden.

“Are you fucking that handsome partner of yours?”

Viktor didn’t say anything but Anabelle’s fixed stare was filled with suspicion and thinly veiled glee. She was never going to let this go, not until Viktor spilled everything. “Okay, okay, fine. Only it’s not like that.”

“Oh? So what is it like?”

_ He doesn’t even really like me,  _ Viktor could have said. _He comes to me when he’s drunk, he comes to me because there’s no one else._ Instead he said, “He’s kind of fucking me.” Viktor winced. Damned mouth always speaking without his brain’s approval.

Anabelle laughed. “I think half of Dunan wishes they could say what you just did.”

“Yeah, well, half of Dunan doesn’t know how good they’ve got it.”

Raising an eyebrow, Anabelle said, “For someone who’s regularly having sex with one of the most attractive men I’ve ever met, you don’t sound like you’re having much fun.”

“You’ve met Flik. Would ‘fun’ be the word that springs to mind when you think of him?”

“Perhaps not.”

“And that’s my point.”

“Then why are you together?”

“We aren’t together, not in the way you think. We’re...” Viktor ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “Flik thought it would be mutual stress relief, or something like that.”

“Ah. I see.”

Viktor only looked at her. If she could see it so clearly, maybe she’d explain it to him because Viktor sure as hell didn’t know what was going on. 

“Is this the sort of arrangement that necessitates fidelity?”

The image of Flik’s face when Viktor had told him about this trip pushed itself to the forefront of Viktor’s mind. He wished he knew what Flik had actually been thinking and feeling. Would Flik care if Viktor found satisfaction elsewhere? Would Viktor care if the answer was no?

The only thing he knew for sure was that the idea of kissing Anabelle’s full mouth again, of having her warm body against his, didn’t appeal in quite the same way that it used to. Maybe he was a one-woman - or a one-man - type of guy after all. Maybe this thing with Flik meant more to him than he had planned on.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes.”

It was, Viktor knew. For him, at least, it was. “Who knew I’d turn out to be so monogamous?”

“Oh, Viktor. You’ve always been like that. I gave you free reign to be with anyone you wanted, so you tell me-- how many women were there, besides me?”

Viktor couldn’t look at her. “No women.” Only Flik.

“There. See? Monogamous. It just turned out that you’d rather be faithful to him than to me.”

Though Anabelle didn’t sound upset in the slightest, Viktor still felt like he’d done something wrong. “I’m sorry, Anabelle. I never meant to hurt you.”

“No, don’t apologize. I hope you know how much I care about you but I think we both knew this was never going anywhere.”

“I don’t think this thing with Flik is going anywhere, either.” Monogamy was all well and good, but it didn’t change the fact that Viktor was sleeping with his best friend because said best friend had thought it would improve their moods. It wasn’t exactly a grand love story for the ages.

Not like Flik and Odessa.

“Well, don’t give up on him,” Anabelle said. “He might surprise you.”

-

As winter set in, the nights became too cold for sitting out on the balcony but Viktor still found himself out there more nights than not, at least for a short while. He wasn’t overly bothered by cold and the thick wool of his clothing kept him warm enough, as long as the wind didn’t blow too fiercely. He liked standing by the rail and gazing at the snow-covered grounds spread out below him, feeling the crisp air biting at his cheeks.

The same couldn’t be said for Flik, but he shivered by Viktor’s side anyway.

“You don’t have to stay out here, you know,” Viktor told him.

“I’m fine,” Flik said, tugging the ends of his cape around himself.

“Right,” Viktor said, glancing at Flik. 

Flik’s nose was pink, and so were his cheeks. It was cute. Not that Viktor would say so. 

“If you were inside right now, you could be sitting by the fire,” Viktor said.

The longing in Flik’s expression was unmistakable. “You trying to get rid of me?”

“Course not. But I’d feel bad if you froze your skinny little butt off because you were trying to keep me company.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

Not all of the pinkness in Flik’s face was from cold, Viktor would wager. “It isn’t? How would you explain it then?”

Flik rested his forearms on the rail. “I’m thinking. Same as you.”

Viktor snorted. “Seems to me you can think inside by the fire.”

“Can’t you shut up for once and let me sit in peace?”

That, Viktor knew, was Flik as good as admitting that he actually was out there purely for Viktor. “Come on,” he said, squeezing the muscle of Flik’s arm. “I’m ready for the fire, too.”

Flik didn’t actually say thank you, but he didn’t have to. It was written all over his face.

In the end they both sat by the fire, side by side on the thick rug in Flik’s room. “I can feel my toes,” Flik said on a sigh.

Viktor couldn’t help his snicker, even if it earned him a shove. The shove was half-hearted at best, as Flik seemed too content to want to move much. “Remember our last Yule?”

“How could I not? The place was full of conquered generals and their men, and half our army didn’t embrace the yuletide spirit quite as fervently as Tir did.”

Viktor smiled fondly. “Tir. He was a good kid. Always believed the best of everyone.”

“Yes,” Flik agreed. “Even when we didn’t deserve it. Though I often wondered whether he was so capable of forgiveness for others because he couldn’t give it to himself.”

It was a sobering thought. “I miss him sometimes. Him, and Gremio, and Humphrey. All of them.”

“Me, too.” Flik leaned slightly into Viktor and they sat there quietly together, with the flickering light of the fire warming the dark night.

-

“How’s your boyfriend?” Leona asked, sitting down at the table in the mess hall across from Viktor. As if to soften her prying, she passed him a mug of beer.

“Flik’s not my boyfriend.”

Leona arched an eyebrow.

“He’s not,” Viktor insisted, wondering if it was bad that he hadn’t tried to deny the Flik part of it. That was supposed to be a secret. He wasn’t an idiot, though. He was aware the whole fort knew, no matter how hard Flik tried to keep it quiet. He was pretty sure most of them had known after the first night.

“He’s my…” Viktor stopped and thought, chewing on his lip. _What the hell am I, then? How do you quantify the sort of relationship Flik and I have?_ “He’s my friend who fucks me sometimes.”

Leona snorted. “So, your boyfriend.”

“That would suggest some sort of emotional connection.”

“Come on, like you wouldn’t jump in front of a sword for him.”

“I would. Not sure he’d do it for me, though.”

Leona reached across the table to shove at Viktor’s shoulder, hard enough that the beer went sloshing out of the mug. “You know better than that.”

“Okay, fine, he would.” Flik had done it for Tir (well, it had been an arrow, but still), he would surely do it for Viktor. Viktor did him a disservice to think otherwise. “But not because of the sex thing.”

“No, he does that because he doesn’t like you, obviously.”

“He does that because he’s horny and I’m around.”

“Oh, Viktor,” Leona said, her expression caught somewhere between amusement and pity. “There are plenty of warm bodies around if that’s all he wants.”

“He made it seem like he was doing me a favor, too.”

Leona laughed at that, quick and sharp. “I’m not sure which of you is the bigger idiot, quite honestly.”

“And I’m not sure what makes you think you know us so well.”

“I see things,” Leona said with a shrug. “Hear things.”

Viktor narrowed his eyes. “What sort of things?” 

Leona was best positioned to hear all of the gossip. It wasn’t like Viktor didn’t realize the men talked about him, but he didn’t always know what they were saying. 

“Nothing to trouble yourself about.”

“Riddles,” Viktor said, draining the beer and getting to his feet. “I hate riddles. If you can’t say what you mean you might as well not say anything.”

As he walked away, he heard Leona say, “Is that what you and Flik do? Tell each other exactly what you mean?”

Viktor ignored her.

-

The winter passed, and the spring rains came. The floors were always muddy, too many pairs of dirty boots stomping about, and the maids spent the days bustling around even more so than usual.

Viktor liked the mud, though. This time of year always made him think of his mother, scrubbing the floors and airing out the house after the long winter. Spring was a new beginning, she had always said. Spring was a time for hope, for renewal. The mud only meant that the flowers would bloom, making the world beautiful again.

Flik, on the other hand, hated the mud. It was messy. For a warrior who had spent his share of nights sleeping in the dirt, Flik was awfully prissy.

“Your cape’s dirty,” Viktor told him.

Flik scowled. “I know.”

“Makes you look more rugged.” Viktor grinned.

“No point washing up now when it’s just going to get dirty again in five minutes when I run the men through their drills.”

The admittance clearly pained him. Flik liked cleanliness and order, and he liked to always, always look his best.

He had an odd relationship with his appearance. He had the innate arrogance of someone who knew exactly how handsome he was and there was a vanity to him, in the way he cared so much about how he presented himself. That being said, though, he was terrible at taking compliments and anyone pointing out how he looked was likely to earn either a blush or a punch in the face, depending on the circumstances. 

Viktor guessed the blushing was on account of Flik not being good with women. There was a definite air of inexperience about him and Viktor could certainly attest to Flik’s discomfort when faced with the focused attentions of a pretty girl. (One had only to mention the name Kimberley and Flik would practically flee the room.) And the tendency toward violence, well… Flik had no doubt spent a lifetime being judged by his pretty face and slim build. Viktor had done it himself. It made sense, then, that Flik always acted like he had something to prove.

“She liked the spring,” Flik said, looking away from Viktor.

“What?”

“Odessa. She liked the spring. She liked the way things grew, like everything had just been biding its time, waiting for the right moment. She liked being in the dirt, like it made her… Ordinary. Like she was just another girl, working, struggling, getting her hands dirty.”

Viktor was almost too shocked that Flik was actually talking about Odessa without being prompted into it to speak, but he managed to say, “She was a lot of things but ordinary wasn’t one of them.”

Flik’s smile was for Odessa, whether she was there to see it or not. “No. She was never that. I think… I think she liked the feeling of doing things for herself after so many years of having everything given to her. I… I don’t mind the mess so much, when I think of her.”

He walked off before Viktor could respond, his boots squishing in the mud.

Viktor didn’t know what he could have said anyway.

-

It only took a morning of Flik going around as if a storm cloud were hovering over his head, moody and snippy, for Viktor to remember what day it was. “Crap,” he said, watching Flik lay into the poor guys in his training group.

It was the anniversary of her death. Odessa.

No wonder Flik was pissed off.

At lunch, Viktor saw Flik sitting by himself in the mess hall. He thought about going over there and saying something, but what would he say? Sorry? That wouldn’t help. Viktor knew Flik well enough to know that he didn’t appreciate sympathy and any attempt at kindness was likely to only turn into a fight.

So Viktor stayed away. He avoided Flik for the rest of the day and he didn’t go near the balcony that evening, where he knew Flik would be sitting by himself, trying to drown his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey.

Unfortunately, when he entered his bedroom, Flik was waiting for him. “Where were you?” he snapped, coming close enough that Viktor almost reeled back from the stink of alcohol wafting off of him.

“Go to sleep, Flik,” Viktor said wearily, edging around him. “You need it.”

“You don’t have any idea what I need!”

“No, of course I don’t. So what are you doing here then?”

Flik grabbed Viktor’s arm and latched on like a leech. “You know why.”

Viktor yanked free of him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Heard that one before.” Flik made a move for the laces on Viktor’s breeches but Viktor shoved him away.

“Not now, not when you’re like this.”

“Fuck you,” Flik slurred.

“Yeah, fuck me,” Viktor said. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Fuck me, and maybe with your eyes closed you can even pretend I’m someone else.”

Even with his speed dulled by booze, Flik moved quickly enough that Viktor’s cheek was stinging and his lip was bleeding almost before he’d had time to register Flik raising his hand.

Viktor touched his tongue to his lip, tasting the blood. “Suppose I deserved that.”

“Suppose you did,” Flik said, holding himself so still that Viktor knew he was fighting back a well of rage.

“But I deserve better than this, too,” Viktor said, waving his hand between them. “I deserve better than you when you’re sad and angry and drunk and wanting to use me for your own ends. I deserve _better_ than that. I thought we were friends.”

“Guess you thought wrong, didn’t you?”

That hurt worse than the physical blow and Viktor could do nothing more than stare mutely as Flik stormed off. The door slammed behind him, causing some loose papers on Viktor’s desk to flutter to the ground.

Viktor walked over to his bed and lay down, face-first into his pillow, boots still on. He wondered why he tried so hard.

-

In the morning Viktor found Flik in the mess hall, clutching a cup of coffee and looking like he was coming off an all-night bender. He probably was. He blinked bloodshot eyes at Viktor as Viktor pushed a plate of eggs in front of him and sat down.

“You’ll feel better if you eat it,” Viktor said.

Flik stared at the plate for a few seconds before stabbing a forkful and raising it to his mouth.

-

Nothing changed and they didn’t talk about it, but two nights later Flik came into Viktor’s room, stone sober, and kissed him good and wet. Viktor just went with it because, why the hell not? Flik was good with his mouth.

Flik worked a hand down the front of Viktor’s breeches and jerked him off, swallowing Viktor’s gasps and cries. Afterwards he wiped his hand off on Viktor’s shirt and gave him this little crooked smile before walking back out.

Viktor stared at the door. “Fuck you, Flik,” he muttered. 


	4. Chapter 4

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If the point of Viktor and Flik fucking had been to make things easier, Viktor realized it wasn’t working. At all.

He didn’t feel better. Actually, in the wake of what had happened on the anniversary of Odessa’s death, Viktor felt pretty crappy.

He felt used. Logically he knew Flik had been using him the entire time, but that hadn’t seemed so bad when it felt mutual. It didn’t feel mutual anymore. It felt like Flik getting what he wanted whenever he wanted with no thought for Viktor, and that… wasn’t okay. They were supposed to be friends, and friendship didn’t work like that.

Viktor knew that Flik hadn’t actually meant what he’d said. He knew that Flik cared about him, and valued him. The words still hurt, though, even if they had been said in anger and with too much alcohol behind them.

And Flik’s actions hurt even more. An impromptu handjob wasn’t an apology. That was Flik shrugging off what had happened like it was nothing.

Only it wasn’t nothing.

What all this worked out to was that Viktor felt crappy, and he needed to get away, which led to him leaning in Flik’s doorway and saying, “I’m going to see Anabelle.”

Flik raised his eyes. “Not even going to pretend it’s a business trip?”

“It isn’t a business trip,” Viktor said, and kind of liked the hurt he fancied he could see flash in Flik’s eyes.

But Flik only said, “I’ll hold the fort while you’re gone. Be… um, be safe.”

Guilt roiled in Viktor’s belly but he just nodded and left.

-

Telling the whole story to Anabelle was easier than Viktor had thought it would be. He figured maybe all he had needed was a willing ear. He’d kept too much bottled up inside and he supposed it made sense that it wanted to spill out.

“This was supposed to be easy, you know? But Flik’s more work than a woman.”

“When you think about what you just said you’re going to realize how terrible it sounds.”

“I thought about it,” Viktor said, wincing.

“Good,” Anabelle said, nodding as though she were satisfied with Viktor’s acknowledgement that he’d said something dumb.

“I should’ve left Flik in the cold and kept you.”

“I’m flattered,” Anabelle said with a wry expression, “but you would never have done that.”

“I wouldn’t have?”

“No, you wouldn’t have. It would have meant saying no to Flik.”

“So? I can say no to Flik.”

“Yeah? Tell me one time you have, then.”

Viktor thought about it. Obviously he had. Some time back when Flik had been an asshole, surely he had. He just had to remember it. “This is stupid. I don’t memorize every interaction I have with Flik.”

Anabelle shrugged. “Okay. Whatever you say.”

“You know, it’s only because of me he’s here, it was me who asked him, so really it’s him who can’t say no to me.” Viktor crossed his arms smugly. 

“There’s some truth in that, but it doesn’t change what I said. Why did you ask Flik to come with you?”

“I don’t know, because I thought he might want to. What the hell else was he gonna do? There wasn’t anything left for him in Toran.” Nothing but grief and painful memories.

“That’s crap. President Lepant would have done anything to get Flik to stay-- and you, too.”

Viktor snorted. “And do what? Politics? Can you see either of us in government?”

“It didn’t have to be that. You could have been given command of a garrison, anything. Anything you wanted. You were leaders of the Liberation Army, you were damned war heroes.”

“Fine, if you’re so smart then, why did I ask him? Tell me, I’m curious.”

“Because you wanted him with you.”

“Okay, sure. He’s my friend.”

Anabelle’s serious expression was far too knowing. “He’s more than that. I think he’s always been more than that. He got under your skin.”

Flik had been under Viktor’s skin since day one, that much was true, only at first it had been because he was such an enormous ass. But then Odessa had died, and Flik… It had been the two of them, Viktor and Flik, Flik and Viktor, through the war and after. They say war makes brothers of all men and it had been a hell of a war.

Viktor plunked his head down on the table. “Ow,” he said, and then, “Fucking Flik.”

Anabelle laughed quietly and stroked her fingers through Viktor’s hair. “Fucking Flik,” she agreed.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Anabelle.”

“You’re in love with him.”

Viktor raised his head again, staring Anabelle in the face. “What? No, I’m not.”

Anabelle looked at him dubiously.

“I’m not! He’s... he’s a prick, that’s what he is. A self-centered, arrogant, bossy prick, who for some reason-- probably because I’m a masochistic idiot-- happens to be my best friend. And yeah, okay, he’s nice to look at, I mean, really nice to look at, and he’s brave, and smart, and a little bit funny in this dry, careful or you’ll miss it kind of way, and... Shit. _Shit._ ”

Anabelle patted his hand. “You really are an idiot, Viktor.”

-

Viktor looked at Flik differently after that. He actually caught himself literally looking sometimes, just staring at Flik, mooning over him like a schoolkid with a crush. Just thinking. 

How had this happened? Viktor hadn’t even wanted to sleep with Flik in the first place, he’d had to be talked into it. It had been Flik’s fucking idea, so how the hell was Viktor the one in love?

And why was he in love? With _Flik_? Flik was all of the things Viktor had said to Anabelle, all of those crummy things and more, but the problem was that the good things were true, too. Flik wasn’t perfect by any means but he was so, so good. He was good. He had a good heart, even if it usually seemed hidden behind the walls he built around himself.

Losing Odessa had mellowed Flik. When he and Viktor had first met Flik had been quick to anger and hadn’t liked to think before he acted. He had learned patience and temperance and how to win with words before swords were ever necessary. Some of it came from grief, from the empty hole inside him, but some of it was the high standards he set for himself, the bar he thought he needed to reach for Odessa’s sake. Flik thought he needed to be a certain sort of man for Odessa. Viktor thought Odessa had liked him just fine the way he was, though there was no denying Flik was a hell of a lot easier to get along with now.

“Stop being weird,” Flik said, sliding into a seat across from Viktor.

“I’m not being weird.”

“Yeah, you are. You keep staring at me. It’s weird.”

“Maybe I just like your face.”

Flik blushed, which was better than the small act of violence Viktor had been half-expecting. “Stop it.”

“Not staring at you now, see? Leaving.” Viktor stood up, walking out of the mess without having eaten anything.

-

Two nights later there was a knock on Viktor’s door. He was almost certain he knew who it was. “It’s open.”

He was right.

Flik strolled in, stopping in the middle of the room. He looked at Viktor, stretched out on the bed. “Want some company?”

Straight to the point. No fuss, like it was simple. Viktor wished it was simple for him. “You haven’t even been drinking.”

“So?”

“Don’t you want to dull your senses before you have me?”

Flik frowned. “What’s the matter with you?”

Nothing, except that he was Viktor, and Viktor would never be what Flik wanted. “I don’t think this is working.”

“What isn’t?”

“This, this thing, this sex thing. I think we should stop.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to do it anymore! I don’t like it, I’m not good at it. The no feelings thing. It’s too complicated.” Viktor hid a wince. He hoped the implication of what he had just said would go over Flik’s head.

Apparently it had, because Flik only looked confused. “I thought you did it all the time.”

This was not a conversation to be had while lying in bed, Viktor decided. He swung his legs over the side, sitting up. “I’m not a whore, Flik.”

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Does it matter?”

It did, actually, but Viktor knew that anything Flik said would likely only make it worse. “I guess not. Just... I’m not as careless as you think I am.”

“I don’t think you’re careless, Viktor. I guess I just thought... I thought you were good at this. Used to it. Experienced. I thought you were... worldlier than me.”

Viktor snorted. “Worldlier?”

Flik was blushing at the tips of his ears. “I mean... Where I’m from, the goal is to find the one woman who makes you want to dedicate yourself to her, and then do it. For me, there was only ever Odessa. I thought you were different.”

“Sleeping around doesn’t make you worldly.”

“Stop twisting what I’m saying.”

“Then damn well say what you mean!”

“Fine! I thought you were used to having sex with people you don’t care about. I thought sex was a game for you in the way it never was for me, that you could just have fun, and show me how to do it, too.”

Viktor shook his head, laughing softly but without any humor. “Yeah, it’s back to that. You think I don’t care, not about anyone. You think-- Shit, Flik. I thought you were my best friend but maybe you never knew me at all.”

Flik looked faintly horrified. Maybe he was actually hearing what Viktor was saying.

“I think you should leave,” Viktor said, and stood up to open the door.

“Viktor, wait, come on, I didn’t mean--”

But Viktor realized he didn’t care what Flik had to say because it couldn’t erase how much his words had hurt. He held the door open silently until Flik finally walked through, begging with those pretty blue eyes of his.

Viktor shut the door in his face.

-

For a little over a week, Flik mostly stayed out of Viktor’s way. They got on with the business of running the fort but that was it. No sparring, no talking, no drinking… and definitely no fucking.

Viktor told himself that was what he wanted. It was better like this than having Flik in every way except the way he truly wanted. It was better for his self-respect, at the very least.

If he hadn’t been feeling so crummy he might have laughed at the spectacular failure of Flik’s original plan. Simple his ass.

The truth was, though, Viktor missed Flik. He missed their friendship, and this definitely wasn’t going to work for him. He just didn’t know how to fix it.

He was pretty sure he couldn’t - only Flik could do that.

The good thing was, Flik turned out to be aware of that fact.

Viktor was sitting outside, resting in the shade of a big old oak tree. The grass was soft beneath him and the wind rustled faintly through the leaves above him.

He watched Flik coming towards him, the sun glinting off his light hair. He stepped into the shade and then dropped down on the ground with that easy grace of his.

It took a few moments for Flik to actually say something. “I, uh… I guess things didn’t work out the way I had intended.”

That was an understatement if Viktor had ever heard one. “Guess so.” After a while of Flik just sitting there and looking uncomfortable, tearing off pieces of grass with his fingers, Viktor said, “You could just say you’re sorry.”

There was an openness in Flik’s eyes when he raised them to Viktor’s face. “Would that be enough?”

“It would be a start.”

“I am sorry,” Flik said, as earnest as Viktor had ever heard him. “I didn’t think… Well, I suppose I didn’t think.”

“I told you it was a bad idea.”

“You did.” Flik swept a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I… I didn’t think you would…”

“What?” Viktor interrupted. “Care about you?”

Flik was blushing, yet again. He needed to stop doing that. It was hard to be pissed at him when he was blushing like a kid. “Um. Right. Yes.”

Viktor couldn’t help his laughter, though it was fueled more by bitterness than anything else. “God, you can’t even say it, can you? Yeah, I fucking love you, dumbass. Sorry if that ruined your plans.”

Flik blinked at him, like an owl. “You what?”

Well, crap. “What did you think I meant?”

“I don’t know! I thought you--” Flik stopped, exhaling a breath. He didn’t say anything at all for a long time and then he said, “No, that’s not right. I knew. I just… I wanted to ignore it.”

“Thanks for sparing me the embarrassment. Kind of you.”

“That’s not what I mean. I’m, well, you know. I’m not good at this.”

“Honesty?”

Flik scowled, which at least was welcomingly familiar. “Like you can talk.”

“Hey, I’m the one trying to do the right thing here.”

“And so am I. Viktor… Viktor, you know why I can’t. I can’t.” Flik’s voice was nearly cracking and that was it. That was all Viktor could take.

He stood up, understanding that Flik had never denied having feelings of his own and yet knowing that that wasn’t enough. Lack of denial wasn’t _enough._ “Yeah. That’s what I thought. I can’t be her, Flik, I _can’t._ She’s gone, and that’s all. I’m sorry you lost her but your life’s not over. If you wanna pretend like it is, be my guest, but I won’t help you do it. You mean too much to me to do that.”

Viktor left Flik sitting there in the grass and walked away, feeling freer than he had in a long time.

-

The rain had stopped an hour or so ago, but the air still retained that fresh, earthy smell. The day had been humid but it felt nice out on the open balcony, where Viktor could catch the breeze flowing through the trees.

He heard the footsteps that stopped beside him but didn’t look.

After a minute, Flik said, “I never loved anyone but her, you know.”

“I know.”

“I wasn’t sure how to. It felt like… like she was the other part of me, a part I didn’t know I was missing until I met her. Do you know what I mean?”

Viktor stared down at his hands and thought of Daisy, and then, God help him, he thought of Flik. “I do.”

“I know she’s gone. I know she’s gone every day, and I’m not. I also know that I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Startled, Viktor raised his head. Flik wasn’t looking at him, though, he was looking out at the land before them, the open fields beyond the trees.

“I think I’d probably be in the ground by now if it weren’t for you,” Flik was saying, “and I’m not sure I wouldn’t have been glad when it happened. Hell, I was _trying_ to throw my life away.But I don’t feel that way anymore. That was no way to live, and it would have been no way to die. I’m not a coward, and you reminded me of that.”

“Well, uh, you’re welcome,” Viktor muttered in the empty silence when Flik stopped talking. What the hell did a person say to that?

Flik looked at him now, lips tilting upwards wryly. “Sometimes I really fucking hate you, but mostly because I don’t hate you at all.”

“Feeling’s mutual, asshole,” Viktor said with no heat behind it.

His smile growing a little more, Flik said, “I guess what I’m saying is I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And I… I think you’re right.”

“Wait. What? Can you repeat that please? I’d like to savor it.”

Flik shoved Viktor’s shoulder good-naturedly. “Don’t push your luck. I’m just saying that maybe I’ve realized a few things. About me and about… about you.” He took a breath, pausing. “When Odessa died, I knew I could never love another woman. But I think she would… It would be different if it were a man, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, Flik,” Viktor said, because he knew that was what Flik needed to hear. It didn’t matter if it was true.

Viktor thought maybe he would do nearly anything for Flik, and wasn’t that pathetic? It was probably even more pathetic that he didn’t care.

Also, had Flik just admitted that he was in love with Viktor?

“Did you just admit that you love me?”

“No,” Flik said, and his skin was flushing pink even as he frowned. “I’m not the insane one here, remember?”

“Aw, baby, you say the nicest things.”

“You know how when we met, I used to fantasize about punching you in the face? I still do that.”

“Yeah, well, I know exactly how you feel. Okay, maybe not the face. Yours is so pretty it’d be a shame to wreck it.”

“Fuck you.”

“My pleasure,” Viktor said, grinning when he saw the way Flik rolled his eyes. “This isn’t the way I thought things were gonna go.”

“I didn’t exactly plan it out myself.”

“Well,” Viktor said, cupping his hand around the side of Flik’s waist. “You know how much I enjoy an unexpected adventure.”

Planning was entirely overrated.

**_ End _ **


End file.
